Their names speak beyond the sands of time. Snap shots frozen in black and white, obscuring the liveliness in their skin, the gleam in their eyes. Smiles stopped prematurely in the faint heart beat of life, for life is ever so fragile. These women, women like myself, caramel skinned, brown eyed and smiling, leave pictures behind that speak to the rose colored days of our lives, but say nothing of those who love us to death...
According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, black women experience domestic violence at a rate 35 percent higher than white women.
Approximately one third of female murder victims in the United States are killed by their husband or boyfriend.
FBI statistics point out that a woman is battered every 15-18 seconds in the United States.
According to a recent study, the weapon most used by men to kill African American women is a handgun.
More than three million children witness domestic violence, and more than four million women are battered to death by their husbands or boyfriends each year.
Lately, I have been very uneasy. It all started when I called a girlfriend of mine and she expressed to me the pain and anguish she had felt upon hearing of the murder of one of her good friends from college best friend. As her voice relayed what she knew and what she didn't know, how her friend was dealing with the devastation of it all, I became more and more ill at eased about the situation. In fact, the details seemed all to familiar, a young black woman shot, murdered brutally along with her 10 month old daughter, her three year old son looking on. Her "stalker" ex-boyfrind being questioned in the case. I was sick to my stomach. I thought about all the stories I had heard before. About the images I'd seen flashing on my news screen regarding sisters and battery, and even the "battered" and "bruised" women I knew. Domestic violence against women is as pervasive as green grass in the Spring time. It happens, and it happens more often in the Black community than we like to think. In fact, one in three women will be a victim of domestic violence in her life time. As a consequence, we all know a sister who has fought this battle rather publicly or unspoken.These women are our mothers, our aunts, our sisters, our long lost cousins and ourselves. When researching domestic violence what alarmed me most was the high incidence rate involving African American women. Young women, presumably successful, mothers, upwardly mobile, and hard working with viable futures now erased due to relationships gone horribly and devastatingly wrong.
The Violence Policy Center, a national non-profit organization that conducts research on violence in the United States stated in its annual report, "When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of 2006 Homicide Data," that 551 African American women were murdered by males that year. Of those homicides where a murder weapon could be identified, 305 of the victims were fatally shot and most during the course of an argument.
If we are to face the truth of domestic violence we must accept that intimate partner violence in the African American community actually occurs, without sweeping it under the rug. Yes, it happens, to even the "strongest" of black women. It HAPPENED, it HAPPENS, its HAPPENING... There is a dialouge which needs to happen in our communities concerning sexism, concerning verbal and physical abuse, concerning the framework of relationships in our culture... What ideals about relationships, partnerships, and love do we hold to be true? Why do we hold these ideals to be true, and what are their implications in our day to day living?
I can only hope that in this new year I do not read or see another article regarding domestic violence as what seems to be the case for my friends constintuents. I can only hope that I don't encounter another news image with another sister whose life has been so abruptly halted because they were simply loved to death. I can only hope another friend or family member does not slyly whisper in my ear the quiet knowledge of someone whose boyfriend is not the "nicest" guy behind closed doors.
Sisters we have got to care of one another... Brothers we have got to work it out... Together we can create a space free of the bigotry that domestic violence brings...
Rest In Peace... Nova Henry and Ava ( Your names will be spoken beyond the sands of time...)
